1. The Beginning

*All names have been changed, and only entries pertaining to progress and foreshadowing have been included.  Some entries are edited for length.

First Dream (That I can Remember)–

Age: 2.5 years old

It was evening time. I walked into the bathroom in the house where I grew up.  Salmon pink tiles. Cold floor.  My baby brother was sitting in the toilet, with his chubby arms resting on the seat.  He was over-sized and seemed stuck.  I walked up to him.  He had a blue string sticking out on top of his head.  I went to pick it up but it was attached, just like a piece of hair.  I was disturbed and scared so I backed away with intentions of getting my mother.  He then started to spin and flush down the toilet. I knew I was in trouble and I woke up.


First Nightmare –

Age: 2.5-3 years

It was night and I was supposed to be in bed.  I walked out of my room and into my hallway which was now strangely green-lit.  To the left, at the entrance to the living room, was an oversized, glowing gumball machine. It was the biggest I had ever seen and I wanted one. On the other side of the hallway was a crude witch, dressed in the typical black garb with stringy black hair. She started to slowly walk towards me.  I panicked and woke up.


Just a Feeling –

Age: 2.5 to 6

(The following was a particular kind of dream that was entirely about a feeling rather than specific visuals.  It was just as vivid and could be remembered just as easily, but was extremely difficult to describe. Some visuals were provided but they seemed to act more as a reflection of the feeling rather than an image to stand on it own.)

I was surrounded by darkness, nothing. My body had no parameters, no boundaries, no limits. Yet it felt conformed and restricted. It was of no form yet felt as though it was being manipulated.  Sometimes I felt as though I was being strained or that I was almost a liquid being poured over a hard, round surface, encasing it or that I was being drained through various twists and turns. If I ever physically felt anything it was the shock of something hard and sometimes cold.  Sometimes I felt something similar to that sharp, gut-and-spine-twisting-down-to-your-genitals-and-up-through-your-jowls feeling that you get when you poke the inside of your belly button.  Usually I felt vulnerable, meek or violated.  But as I got more accustomed, I was able to bear the strange feeling.  One of the last times I had this dream and felt this, it was accompanied by an awesome feeling of divine power, drive and invulnerability.  My entire set of senses enveloped me and I felt one of the most extreme states of bliss, power, knowledge and reality.  I knew everything.  And I was the carrier of the Earth.  I had the earth on my shoulders and I knew what to do.  Everything was perfect.  Everything was perfect… And it was real.  It was the most real I had ever felt.  Then I woke up.


First Attempted Dream Smuggle –

Age: 2.5-3

I was sleeping in the room that I shared with my older sisters. Their bunk beds on one side, my captains bed on the other. I was thirsty and wanted water so I pulled back my sheets and got out of bed.  Everything was dark but I could still make out the details of my room.  I turned right at the hallway and into the kitchen to get a glass of water.  I couldn’t get a cup out of the cupboards above by myself so I went around the corner to the pantry shelf and found a stack of colored plastic cups.  I liked these cups.  I grabbed a red one.  I knew I was dreaming because I knew we didn’t actually have these cups. They were from someone else’s house, but I also knew the cup was real.  I could bring this with me.  Still clutched in my hand, I walked back to my room and slipped into bed.  I looked at the red cup and felt the soft but textured feel of the plastic.  I woke up and my hands were empty.

Disturbing Nightstalker-
Age: 3.5 to 6

This woman would appear randomly in my dreams. She was either standing or sitting, mouth shut, never saying a word. She looked through her straight jet black hair with dart eyes. She wasn’t creepy at all (at first), in fact she was extremely beautiful. She had dark eye makeup and red lipstick and was wearing a sleeveless, v-neck, black dress with a very high slit in the middle. Her look was evil but I stared back anyway. Still keeping my gaze she spread her legs and out popped a penis. I was shocked and extremely frightened. At this point, I either ran away or woke up. She never chased after me but would sometimes pop up around the next corner with that same blank, but intent look and flash me again.

First connection through realities –

Age: 4 or 5 years

I was being chased by a tiger at a family friend’s house up in the hills.  It was night and no one was home.  I was frightened, running from death and soon realized I could not run forever.  I ran up some outside stairs and stopped at the end of the walkway and braced myself for the tiger to attack and kill me from behind.  I closed my eyes and accepted death as inevitable.  I felt it lunge into my back.  My body arched forward from the impact of the attack and I was jutted into reality.  When I woke up, my body was still in motion from the tiger’s bite.  (This was the first dream I realized I could consciously go from one reality to the next.)

First Extended Dream Sequence –

Age: 5

My best friend, Daniel and I walked into the dimly lit, empty cafeteria at our childhood elementary school.  A third person view showed four snakes slithering fast from the shadows towards us.  We stood strong with our legs parted and feet planted firmly on the ground.  The snakes slithered up, wrapped around our calves and snapped into place like warrior shin guards.

Then out of the shadows came a line of marching flying monkeys from The Wizard of Oz followed by the legendary Wicked Witch of the West. She requested/demanded that Daniel and I follow her and her army to a secret location.  We joined the march into the shadows.

(The first time I had the dream it ended here.  About a couple months later, I had the dream again.  Same thing, the empty cafeteria, the snake armor, the Wicked Witch and the monkey march but it continued..)

We entered a secret door and started to walk down a hallway littered with framed pictures of strange portraits and images. The other side had a long one-paned horizontal window that stretched out the entire length of the slender hallway. I started to take note of the pictures and realized that I had this dream before and that I was progressing further than last time.  I got excited and felt brave. I wanted to take everything in.  I knew what I was doing.  I wanted to keep the dream going but as I thought this, the march began to slow down and I couldn’t squeeze past the monkeys.  I started to get frustrated and I woke up.

First Time Defying Gravity –

Age: 5

I was outside in the front yard of another family’s house.  It was evening time and our bible study was over which meant we could socialize, my favorite part.  The adults were all inside and a couple other children were playing around the yard as well as me.  I was really excited and had lots of energy.  The environment was crisp, clear and authentic to our reality.  It felt real.  I jumped up to stand on the tree stump but as my foot touched it, I accidentally pushed off and sent myself lightly floating through the air.  I couldn’t believe this.  I was only about 4 feet off the ground but it was the most exhilarating feeling I had ever felt.  One of my friends seemed to notice and paid attention.  I lightly floated back down and went for it again. This time I kicked off harder and tucked my legs under, which sent about 6-7 feet off the ground.  I called out for everyone to look.  They all came out in wonder, looking up, some impressed, some uninterested.  I floated back down and went for it for a third time this time adjusting my body in order to obtain a slight movement once I was up.  I could just barely guide myself in a specific direction and could only get as high as the initial launch up would take me then I would slowly float back down.  I kept trying it over and over, so incredibly happy that I could do this.  I was ecstatic and wanted to tell my family.  As I gently floated, I thought of how different my life would be from now on that I could do this.  Then I woke up.  (When I awoke in my bed, I clenched my legs in the same manner as I did in the air, to check if this amazing ability was “real”.  I was extremely sad to find it was not.)

First Extended Flight –

Age: 6-7

It was daytime in my little valley hometown.  I was with family and religious acquaintances but was not concerned with whatever it was that they were up to.  I went off on my own towards the grassy hills, away from civilization.  The day was beyond beautiful. The colors, especially the green grass and blue sky, were extraordinarily vibrant.  I felt good about being outside by myself.  I felt good about life…and I knew I was dreaming.  I started a brisk jog and kicked off with my foot.  I had been able to practice this technique several times before and expected the usual lift and float down, but this time, I remained airborne.  I didn’t lose altitude but instead kept forward and moved my arms to maintain balance.  This was what I had been trying to achieve.  I was lost in extreme bliss as I flew through the sky over hill after hill, feeling the cool wind against my skin.  I wanted to do this forever.  Then I woke up.

My Longest Running Recurring Extended Dream Sequence (Journey to the Cabin) – *Edited for length

Age: Persisted from 6-8

(This dream was experienced in many different segments.  The dreams mostly started from the first obstacle and led to some new obstacle. The next time, repeating that but advancing to a further obstacle.  Sometimes it would start in the middle.  But once I reached my final destination I never had the dream again. I don’t remember exactly how many dreams in took me to finish the adventure. )

My family and some others were heading out to one of their cabins in the mountains.  We pulled up to the edge of the forest on a dirt road and I got out of the van.  The sliding door shut behind me and I turned around.  The adults said sorry, but that I had to get there on my own and drove off.  I couldn’t believe it. (This “opening scene” only occurred the first time I had the dream. After that I would simply start at the forest entrance.)

I engaged in several different obstacles, some recurred every time, others just once or twice.  Crossing a pathside that gave way to rock slides, swimming  through a submerged upside down house, capturing and riding a dolphin-bird, escaping dogs at a hillbillies house and finally to a druid camp that was guarded by a blind seer.  I reached her three times but failed to get past her.  Until one time when I happened to be accompanied by some other little girls.  The seer caught one of them and I hesitated before leaving her as a distraction to get away.  I did not let guilt get the best of me as I knew it was only a dream.

My vision went white and the environment slowly collected itself to reveal that I was on top of the mountain I had been climbing an ahead was the glorious structure I had traveled so long to find.  I was at the cabin.  I walked up and entered the building.  The interior was a light colored wood and the walls arched in to go with the structure. A glowing light shined in from the high windows and over several solemn people that I didn’t know. Perhaps this wasn’t the right place, but I could feel that it was.  Or perhaps my family, with whom I was supposed to rendezvous, left long ago and I had taken far too long on this adventure.  I sat down with the feeling of relief that it was all over, sprinkled with a dash of disappointment.  And woke up. 

Blue or Red, Old or Young *Edited for length

Age: 8

I was by myself at a friend’s house, empty and dimly lit.  Through the sliding glass door I saw an elevator sitting in the middle of the lawn.  I entered it and pressed the only button there, a big round red one. The doors shut behind me, rumbled and shaked and reopened to reveal a massive room with concrete floors, high ceilings and walls that seemed to have no end.  I stood in the middle of two rows of red and white checkered picnic tables, extending back into the same depths.

There, standing in the middle of the path to greet me was a cartoon boy with blonde hair.  He said in a happy tone to follow him, but his face switched in a second when he told me that if I entered under that table he would kill me.  He pointed to a table with a beat up table cloth and an entrance that had been crudely cut out.  I waited for him to turn his back and then immediately darted under the table.  He screamed and tried to grab at my legs but I got free and crawled in as fast as I could.  The path was strewn with dead decaying pirates and I felt sharp invisible scratches but I continued forward and out the other side to a small opening on a massively high wall.

Out in the distance I saw the ocean that stretched out as far as I could see and the only piece of land was a tiny island in the middle of my gaze.  On a bench next to me sat an old man in very tattered and dusty clothing. His coloring was washed out and I knew he had been there a long time. He looked over with dull eyes. “We have to wait for twilight” was all he said. Since “twilight” didn’t seem to be coming anytime soon, I went past him and climbed to the docked boats below.  I could hear him yelling after me and I knew he would pursue.  I rowed fast to the island, tied up my vessel and walked out to the rocky beach. I was suddenly attacked by an aerial enemy, perhaps some type of guard bird, whom I engaged in battle with using a newly acquired sling shot.  Once the attack let up I entered a cave made up of what looked to be small bits of obsidian.

Inside, on a rock shelf, I found two potions, one was blue, one was red.  I hesitated but grabbed the blue one at the last second.  I could hear that they were after me so I quickly left the cave and travelled back the way I came.  When I exited out the other end of the table, the little boy was gone and in his place was a haggard old man. He was clearly livid with me and wanted what I had in my hands.  Grabbing the blue potion had made him old.  He came at me and I ran into the elevator. The doors shut and then I woke up.

The End of this System of Things –

Age: 8

(The scenes leading up to this are hazy.)

Loud, explosive noises echoed throughout the environment and chaos was everywhere.  We were all running and I was always separated from the rest.

The world had a red hue. The wind whipped around me as I stumbled up a sand mound to reach the ruined cement path at the top.  I recognized where I was.  It was the bike path by the beach at the campgrounds that my family vacationed at every year.  But instead of the path extending down the coast line, it led to a red dusty side of a mesa.  I ran forward towards sanctuary.  As I got closer I could see that people were huddled in little cut out caves in the side of the cliff, and they were all watching out into the horizon.  I was looking for my family, especially my mother.  I saw the little dark-haired boy in school that I hated with a passion… but I didn’t hate him that second.  I went to him and he just looked at me and stayed silent.  There were no words for anything.  I sat next to him in some tattered blankets and we watched the sky change from red to orange and back again with flashes of light and wind that we could see but not feel.  It was kind of like a sunset gone nuclear. Then I woke up.


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