2. Developing

Déjà vu –

Age: 9

(I had this dream when I was 9 but the visuals were seen again in this reality when I was actually age 11. I don’t remember the scenes leading up to this because this was the only part that happened to stand out to me.)

I was sitting on the floor with my back to the wall.  I leaned my body forward, still sitting but now with my head almost resting on the floor.  I turned and looked to the left to see a young woman dressed in ancient Egyptian garb.  She had the white robes and the typical sharp, angled, black, hair topped with a gold headpiece.  She was sitting on the floor in the very corner.  All she did was stare back.

(In 6th grade, age 11, my whole class had a field day and was able to rent a room in some community building for our Egyptian party.  During the fashion show to showcase our outfits, I sat on the ground.  The entire dream played forward exactly as it had in my head.  I only realized this once my head was almost on the ground in the same position and I saw the “Egyptian” girl, with the exact same clothes and blank stare back at me.  I snapped up with shock and tried to explain the occurrence to my friend, but once it left my mouth I felt that it sounded extremely insignificant.)

First Time-Manipulation (An Alien Host) –

Age: 10

At dusk I approached the house that I had been invited to.  The sun was setting before me and cast a shadow as I walked up the windy path, past the dark green grass to the doorway.  All around the house seemed generally normal only slightly… alien.  It was rounder, cleaner, synthetic, and flashy.  I knocked on the door and my host opened.  It was a dark blue, smurf-like alien that stood as tall as my stomach.  He had a big nose and eyes but no ears and certainly no cartoon shorts.  He was friendly and happy to see me. I was led to a door and once I stepped through it shut behind me and my host was gone.

I stood in a small entry way at the top of a very deep room.  Across the way I could see another opening that lead to another room which was where I needed to go.  I stepped onto the top of a palm tree that was just in front of me and looked below to see that the room was filled with orange soda, sparkling and bright, which left the room glowing orange.  To my left were more tree tops with very large nests resting on top and to my right were steps made out of large pickle chip slices that led all the way down to a massive burger.

I stepped out onto the tree and into one of the nests.  The eggs inside started to wiggle and crack and out broke large baby birds with over-sized heads.  I leaned down to pet but one of them snapped and latched onto my fingers.  It stung.  I tried to pull it off and pry its mouth open but nothing made it budge.  I only had one option so I took the baby bird in my hand and cracked its neck.  The bird released its grasp and dropped dead but soon all the baby birds were biting and again I had no choice but to start breaking all of their necks.  The ones alive started to cry and I began to see shadows flying over me.  I looked up to see military equipped soldier birds, complete with bullet belts and machine guns.  The adult birds opened fire on me in revenge for killing their young. I knew I messed up but instead of panicking(which often forces me to wake), I ran.

I hopped down the other tree tops to the left but each one contained more baby birds that were screaming their alarm.  I jumped down to a slab floating in the soda but was cornered by the mercenary birds.  They aimed their guns and I closed my eyes but not to die.  I knew I made a stupid mistake and I didn’t want my dream to be over by something as dumb as accidentally stepping in a birds nest.  I wanted it to be like in a game when you can just go back to a previous part if you messed something up.

My world went black and when I opened my eyes I was at the opening again.  I looked out and saw no malicious birds in sight and all the eggs were safe and intact.  I was relieved and extremely happy with myself for starting over.  I walked out and THIS time went right, down the hilarious pickle steps, and finally to the burger that sat like a rock that was native to its island.

The First Sign of Suspicion –

Age: 11

It was daytime at school and all my fellow 6th graders were running around in the field.  I was with my good friend, Alisa, and we were playing some type of game we were making up on the spot, as usual.  Suddenly, I felt her grab my wrists with her hands and push me up against the metal fence that made up a corner of our baseball field.  At first, I thought she was upset or angry with me and I was not used to confrontation.  But then she moved her body closer to mine and moved my arms up above my head.  I was confused and was about to ask what she was doing when she leaned in even closer and breathed against my cheek, almost kissing me, but not.  I felt excited and guilty.  Then I woke up.

Tunnel Vision –

Age: 11

It was dusk on the Boulevard of our little town.  I was congregating with some kids from school and we, or at least I, was not supposed to be out but my mother was at work and wouldn’t be back for a while.  My friend Alisa and I were the leaders of the group.  We motioned for everyone to cross the street and moved in one big pre-teen mass to the other side where we discovered a cave. The mouth was about 10 feet tall and was overrun with ivy, as was almost everything in town.

Inside the cave was lit well, casting a warm almost yellow, light.  As we continued forward, the tunnel narrowed.  The ivy that covered the floor slowly started to change into a tessellation. Like Escher’s Metamorphosis, the leaves transformed to a 2 dimensional pattern with two rows of painted ivy leaves leading us further down the path.  I looked around and noticed about half the group missing.  I moved on.  Wind started to flow, coming from the other end and I noticed more and more people gone every time I turned around.  The floor had disappeared where there were no ivy patterns, leaving 2 long beams for us to walk across.  It was hard to maintain footing, but I heard Alisa’s voice behind me and pressed onward until I made it to the end of the tunnel.  There was a small square flat at the end and a skinny rectangular opening towards the ceiling.  I made it to the end but I was all alone.

It was late evening now. I looked through the opening and saw feet strolling by.  This was a gutter in some other part of town. Suddenly, a pair of feet stopped and a dark-haired boy about my age knelt down and popped his head down.  I knew him, but only from past dreams, not the waking life.  He was my comrade, my guardian, and he had been waiting for me.

“You don’t have much time” he told me and looked up at the sky.  The wind started to howl.

“Hurry!” he yelled and extended his hand to pull me up.

I woke up.

First Dream Connection Experiment –

Age: 11

Every day at school during recess I would find Alisa and we would share our dreams from the night before.  She told me about a girl named Maria, who was often depicted as Egyptian, that would frequent her dreams and she was convinced she was her guardian of some kind.  I told her of my recurring male dream companion and that in one dream he mentioned his name, though I could not remember, only that I think it sounded Spanish.

We got so obsessed with sharing our subconscious stories that one day we decided to devise a plan to communicate with each other on the other side.  At night as I would drift off, I focused all my remaining mental power to visualize a typewriter floating in the sky.  I made sure the image was as solid as could be, usually a good 30 seconds, before putting in a piece of paper.  I typed messages starting with her name and ending with mine, always short and simple.  ‘I’m here. Are you?’ or things like ‘Meet me by the water’ or wherever I chose.  Each letter stamping the parchment one by one. Once the letter was complete, I sent it flying off through the air and focused my thoughts on it reaching her.

The next morning I asked if she ever received any messages, if I was in her dreams or if she felt compelled to get to a certain place to find something or someone.  She often replied that she thought she had, yet she was not entirely sure.  I knew she did not just want to humor me as she took the whole ordeal as seriously as I did.  I’ll never know if anything ever did make it to her.

Technique to Fall Asleep –

Age: 13 – almost present

(I began using this technique to fall asleep naturally and start my dream with an almost clean slate, untainted with thoughts of life or the everyday troubles or whatever pop reference had been on my mind most at that time.

I started by closing my eyes and imagining my body, exactly as it laid, on a black surface, surrounded by darkness.  No one and nothing was around, not even my sheets or pillows.  I imagined that the feeling of the cloth and that my head was slightly supported was all merely an illusion that my mind was creating.  Nothing existed except me.  I focused on my complete relaxation.  Once I had obtained that, I needed a way to prevent my mind from drifting to something that would distract it from a pure descent into subconsciousness.

To do this I conjured up a green grid amongst the darkness, stretching out in every way to infinity.  Once this was solid, I imagined a green laser light in one solid line, slowly traveling over my body, as if scanning me.  It started at my head and ended at my toes, passing over every curve and bump on my body.  One line at a time, over and over, until it felt therapeutic and comforting.  Soon my mind would travel out and my natural process would occur.)

Real Self-Love –

Age: 14

I was asleep and just woke up.  Or at least I thought I did. My room looked normal as I laid on my daybed, only everything was tinted black from the night.  Slowly, my gaze started to move forward towards the end of my bed.  My viewpoint did a 180 and I could now see my own body asleep in my bed.  It was different than looking in a mirror.  I looked different.  I had never seen myself.  No one ever sees themselves, only their mirrored image.  I went in closer, everything still dark, but I could make out the features of my hair and face.  I could feel both senses.  Blood rushed down my body.  I touched my lips to my lips, just grazing to tingle and then went slowly down. I felt the pleasure on both ends.  It felt strange and probably wrong but so extremely wonderful as well, too wonderful to stop.  Then I woke up.

A Dream in Hollywood –

Age: 16 (Documented on 8/12/2003)

I was at an all girls’ school, that seemed to be out in the country, standing outside by a dark brick wall covered with vines.  I was having a vision of a young woman, massive tangles of her light brown hair covered her eyes.  She was wearing an orange and pink sundress that went to her ankles.  It almost seemed like she was glowing.  She lifted her hands and parted her mess of hair to slowly reveal her soft face.  I knew her, a classmate or something.

“Just an illusion,” she said with a tone of almost disappointment, “But find me.”  She walked up the steps next to her, but when I followed I could not find her.  I walked a little ways across the bridge and came to a door that led me into a beautiful bamboo office with natural lighting.  I walked to the back of the room and stepped up to desks that were on a raised level.  The woman on the right side had a very short, almost little boy haircut.  Her hair was light brown and she had small blue eyes and a long bird-like nose.  I looked over her shoulder as she typed vigorously on her computer.  She stopped and started to turn around in order to tell me to leave, but a tall woman with dark gray hair in a bun ran up to us.  She wore a dark green old-fashioned dress with a brooch below her neck.  She must have been the Dean.

“Ok, listen up!” she told the whole room, “I need everyone to get on an evening gown and meet in the front courtyard!  Hurry!” The girls were already scrambling to get out of their desks before the woman could leave.  About 10 more girls rushed into the room.  They were heading towards a small hallway with two doors, one with a boy symbol on in, obviously very old, and a one with a girl symbol on it.  The girls rushed through the appropriate door, which lead to a huge locker room.  There were strips of lockers with girls frantically opening them and getting out dresses and putting them on.  I walked down the aisles looking for an abandoned dress, though I still did not understand why.  I walked towards the back to a line of empty lockers and saw a medieval looking dress.  It was a beautiful dark burgundy with a light floral lace in the inside and had a lace up corset top.

“This must be my dress,” I thought and looked around to see if it had an owner.  No one was present.  I reached to take it but as I did, a hand came from behind and grabbed it.  A girl popped up from behind the lockers.  She was pretty with blonde hair.

“Oh, this is yours?” I asked with great disappointment.

“Yeah,” she victoriously smiled, “it is.”

“Where’d you get it?” I asked, trying to conceal my jealousy.

“Some shop on Wilshire.” She replied.

“Oh well, its beautiful.  You’ll have to let me try it on sometime.”  I said.

“Yeah,” she said and rolled her eyes.

I spied a door leading to outside.  It led to an upstairs porch with two white chairs and a girl sitting on one.  I sat on the other chair and she started to talk to me but I didn’t really listen. I saw a wine bottle wrapped in a plastic bag sitting next to my chair.  It was cheap wine with a sharp fruity taste but I sensed someone had left it there for me.  I knew I would get in trouble if I was seen drinking it so I tried to drink it as fast as I could.  First I tried chugging it, then I decided to just pour it down my mouth.  The whole time the girl was talking about some problem she had with the place, but I really didn’t care.  I stood up and the girl and chairs disappeared and the porch turned into a great stone wall that I now stood atop.  I held the bottle to my stomach so anyone who would walk by couldn’t see it.  I felt a shock through my body.

“Hey!” Someone said.  I turned to my side and saw the Dean.  I thought she had seen my wine but I then noticed she was staring straight past me.  I looked to my other side and saw something.  It was a human like creature with black crispy skin like it had been extremely burnt.  It was lying on it stomach with its arm spread out in front of it.  Its knees were up in the air with its feet tucked under, almost in a pouncing position.  Its glowing eyes were staring at me.

“Just go!” the Dean yelled at me, “They’re here again! Go!” I dropped the bottle and ran down the path on top of the wall.  I pushed through a door that led to another room overgrown with plants.  I saw another demon but it looked like a fat little man with the same burnt looking skin and blazing eyes.  I ran past it so it didn’t have a chance to see me and down a white, spiral staircase.  I was in what seemed to be an old, abandoned conservatory.  The vines filled the walls and plants grew through every crack.  I walked through a couple rooms that were pretty much the same until I saw Damon (boyfriend at the time).

“I’m trying to get out of this place,” he told me, “I think it’s this way.”  He started to walk down a hallway and I followed.  We walked a ways until I got tired of following and stepped in front and started to lead the way.  I was confident in the path I chose to take.  I walked into a room and saw a massive crocodile, about twenty feet long and very thick.  It was so big it seemed it couldn’t even move around very well in the room.  It moved its head very slowly and looked at us.  It made a low moan and started to move its foot to walk towards us.

“Oh shit!” I said, upset that the one room I chose to go in had a huge monster in it.

Damon pulled my arm and we ran down several hallways until we reached a filigree gate covered in vines.  We pushed it open.  Inside was a small room with no roof, letting in the sun from the hole in the high ceiling.  The ground was completely covered in vines and other plants as well as the stone mound in the middle of the room.  It was a small sanctuary and I felt safe here.  I sat on the mound to rest.  Damon kept standing and pulled a cigarette out of his pocket.

“I’m gonna go check some other places and find a way out of here,” he said.

“And you’re taking the last smoke?” I asked.  He didn’t answer.  I imagined being in the room alone waiting for him to return and seeing the crocodile come up to the gate and break through or at least scare the crap out of me.

“I don’t wanna be stressed if that thing is gonna come over here and stare at me through the gate.”  I laughed.  It was comical to think of that big thing finding this place and then just staring at me.

“I’ll share it with you,” he said.

I woke up.

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